FOLLOW YOUR BLISS
I had something of a revelation... during my time here today. You might say this was life transforming. You see, yesterday and earlier today I was looking through some of my old blog posts from about four years ago, getting more ideas for my book, and I came across something. Back then, on November 5th 2002, I wrote:
A year ago, to this very day, I was laid off from the last studio job I had doing computer game work. Since that time I finally decided to push forward wholeheartedly into the realm of independent animation. I released Understanding Chaos and Shadowskin on DVD, promoted them through various avenues. I did many interviews and a few magazine articles. I was even invited on a trip to China and Japan to promote both my work, Lightwave 3D, and Aura Video Paint, my favorite software. I moved to LA where I started interacting in different circles and becoming a bit more known. I also hooked up with PBSO and began the J4A project. It hasn't been the smoothest ride I'll tell you, but I'd take it over that studio job any day!
Just over two years later, in my 2004 year end review, I wrote:
I am going back to work. I believe it is a necessary part of the way of Chaos and essential to doing a long term project.
Now both of those were concious choices. I'm not going to say that either one was right or wrong at the time. In fact, I would say they were both right based on what I believed. It is in fact belief that is the central issue here.
We have to really be careful what we allow ourselves to come to believe. As independent animators we are often faced with doing the impossible by industry standards and we need to always remember that those standards are not our own. Who was it who decided that a lone artist could not make a quality animated film, and when was this decided? People whose minds are stuck in the industry will tell you with conviction it can't be done and give you many convincing reasons why this is so, but we have to remember that this is their experience and not ours. As it is written in The Richest Man in Babylon, you wouldn't take advice on fine jewelry from a brick maker.
I am thankful that I started out with but a goal and, though I saw no way to achieve it, I also saw no barriers against it. I hadn't yet worked at the studios. I hadn't yet worked on "real films". I hadn't yet encountered the egos, the attitudes, the crushed spirits and broken dreams that so pervade the industry. I wanted to do it and so I did it. Even so, as time went on my beliefs fell into corruption. I learned a lot being in the industry. I read books by masters of the trade and veterans in animation and this was good, but it also took something away. I started to believe I had to use certain tools. I started to believe I had to follow certain processes. I stared to believe I had to live up to certain expectations. I started to even believe I had to travel a certain road, or that there was some purpose I had to fulfill or things just wouldn't go right.
When the revelation hit me, I had never before seen so clearly. I didn't just see clearly at this moment. It was like traveling through the Stargate, but into my mind and into my history and I saw clearly so far back. I could see the importance of each turning point. I could see the meaning in each lesson learned. I could see what I gained and what I traded away. I could finally see my purpose.
Joseph Campbell, famed and venerated author of The Masks of God, once said, "Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls." I can see now that when I did that, so many doors did open. I traveled halfway around the world to speak in China and Japan. I stood in Production I.G., my favorite studio, and watched one of the greatest anime films ever done in the making. I saw raw drawings of characters like Batou and Major Kusanagi on the desk of an artist so great as Hiroyuki Okiura. I wrote articles for major magazines and did many interviews. I got a deal with a major publisher. I got to stand in stores like Best Buy, Suncoast or Borders and see my products on the shelves. Those doors did open.
I have come to realize that if you truly want to create, you are tasked with nothing else but to follow your bliss. It would be like a crime for you to do less. As an artist or creator, you have something to say and to not get that message out would be a shame. There are things that exist in everyone's life that one can let be an excuse not to go after the dream, but its only a pale shadow of an excuse. If we really want to be free, we have to be free, right now, waiting for nothing. If we really want to create animation, we have to just start creating it and believe, even know, that we are on the right path and that the film will be done because the doors will open and the obstacles will fall out of the way. Nothing should stand in the way of your dream. Everything doesn't have to be perfect right now. You don't have to have the perfect computer. You don't have to have the best software. You don't have to have a dream team of artists. You don't have to have anything but your desire and your belief that it will happen. Just start down that road. You will be surprised how many things just move out of your way.
A year ago, to this very day, I was laid off from the last studio job I had doing computer game work. Since that time I finally decided to push forward wholeheartedly into the realm of independent animation. I released Understanding Chaos and Shadowskin on DVD, promoted them through various avenues. I did many interviews and a few magazine articles. I was even invited on a trip to China and Japan to promote both my work, Lightwave 3D, and Aura Video Paint, my favorite software. I moved to LA where I started interacting in different circles and becoming a bit more known. I also hooked up with PBSO and began the J4A project. It hasn't been the smoothest ride I'll tell you, but I'd take it over that studio job any day!
Just over two years later, in my 2004 year end review, I wrote:
I am going back to work. I believe it is a necessary part of the way of Chaos and essential to doing a long term project.
Now both of those were concious choices. I'm not going to say that either one was right or wrong at the time. In fact, I would say they were both right based on what I believed. It is in fact belief that is the central issue here.
We have to really be careful what we allow ourselves to come to believe. As independent animators we are often faced with doing the impossible by industry standards and we need to always remember that those standards are not our own. Who was it who decided that a lone artist could not make a quality animated film, and when was this decided? People whose minds are stuck in the industry will tell you with conviction it can't be done and give you many convincing reasons why this is so, but we have to remember that this is their experience and not ours. As it is written in The Richest Man in Babylon, you wouldn't take advice on fine jewelry from a brick maker.
I am thankful that I started out with but a goal and, though I saw no way to achieve it, I also saw no barriers against it. I hadn't yet worked at the studios. I hadn't yet worked on "real films". I hadn't yet encountered the egos, the attitudes, the crushed spirits and broken dreams that so pervade the industry. I wanted to do it and so I did it. Even so, as time went on my beliefs fell into corruption. I learned a lot being in the industry. I read books by masters of the trade and veterans in animation and this was good, but it also took something away. I started to believe I had to use certain tools. I started to believe I had to follow certain processes. I stared to believe I had to live up to certain expectations. I started to even believe I had to travel a certain road, or that there was some purpose I had to fulfill or things just wouldn't go right.
When the revelation hit me, I had never before seen so clearly. I didn't just see clearly at this moment. It was like traveling through the Stargate, but into my mind and into my history and I saw clearly so far back. I could see the importance of each turning point. I could see the meaning in each lesson learned. I could see what I gained and what I traded away. I could finally see my purpose.
Joseph Campbell, famed and venerated author of The Masks of God, once said, "Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls." I can see now that when I did that, so many doors did open. I traveled halfway around the world to speak in China and Japan. I stood in Production I.G., my favorite studio, and watched one of the greatest anime films ever done in the making. I saw raw drawings of characters like Batou and Major Kusanagi on the desk of an artist so great as Hiroyuki Okiura. I wrote articles for major magazines and did many interviews. I got a deal with a major publisher. I got to stand in stores like Best Buy, Suncoast or Borders and see my products on the shelves. Those doors did open.
I have come to realize that if you truly want to create, you are tasked with nothing else but to follow your bliss. It would be like a crime for you to do less. As an artist or creator, you have something to say and to not get that message out would be a shame. There are things that exist in everyone's life that one can let be an excuse not to go after the dream, but its only a pale shadow of an excuse. If we really want to be free, we have to be free, right now, waiting for nothing. If we really want to create animation, we have to just start creating it and believe, even know, that we are on the right path and that the film will be done because the doors will open and the obstacles will fall out of the way. Nothing should stand in the way of your dream. Everything doesn't have to be perfect right now. You don't have to have the perfect computer. You don't have to have the best software. You don't have to have a dream team of artists. You don't have to have anything but your desire and your belief that it will happen. Just start down that road. You will be surprised how many things just move out of your way.
15 Comments:
I have been reading your blog for only a very short while now, but this post struck me. As I just dived into reading Joseph Campbell's Hero with a Thousand Faces and another book by him made after the documentary, what you are writing about made much sense. Thanks for writing about these experiences in your blog as they told me clearly, that my subtle thoughts are the ones I should listen to! I too am working with lightwave (only dablin'), but I should REALLY follow my bliss! Thanks!!!
Marco
Great words of wisdom and encouragement Terrence... Certainly inspired me! I look forward to your future projects :)
Yea, great post. I can't wait to buy your book, Terrence :)
Hardcore nuggets for growth. Cant agree with you more.
Hey Terrence,
I've always liked your site. This is my first post.
Check out the book "Think and Grow Rich" if you haven't already. Or better yet, get the audio book and listen to it while you work. It's not a book about quick-rich scams, but more a motivational book on achieving your goals.
One of the key lines from the book is "Quitters never win, and winners never quit."
It also goes into avoiding the major fears, like fear of criticism, fear of poverty, etc. If you fear these things you will never achieve your goal.
Anyways, looking forward to your feature film.
And Mdotstrange, kudos to your amazing accomplishment!
That reminds me, I gotta look for a copy of "Hero With a Thousand Faces" (I've already seen Cambell's Power of Myth" video series, which is excellent and something I believe to be essential learning for those looking to create narrative works).
Your post on this subject actually come at a point in my development as a creator where I had begun to develop that dangerous "fear of criticism" that Jeff talks about. For the past 1-2 months, I have become worried over a certain asspect of my planned film - the fact that the visual/artistic style of it is heavily influenced by Japanese Anime. In the previous months, I've become accutely aware of a stigma towards animated works that are anime-influenced, but not created by Japanese-artists; because they are not native or "true" anime in that it's creators are not from Japan, these works are viewed as "inferior" or . Because of haveing seen these prejudices, I began to change the visual direction of the pre-production of the film, taking it more in a Western, Disney-isc art style (something that I believed at the time that audiences would relate to better, but has taken me away from actual creation).
Your recent post has truly opened my eyes to a realization: what truly matters to me is what "I" want to create, not what others believe I should create or what prejudicial views they may have.
I love animation, but of all the types and styles that I've seen over the years, it is anime holds a special place in my heart: it has positively changed me both as an artist and as a individual. I should not be ashamed of wanting to create in that style, nor should I allow others narrow viewpoints to change the type of story that I want to express.
Thanks for the post, man.
Great inspiring words of wisdom. In my own case I call it "Catch the bull by the horn and don't bother about getting gored"
mdotstrange, thumbs up for your accomplishment, ain't easy my friend. Jason, I wish ya all the best man, tell ya story in whatever style you deem fit and like you rightly said, the narrow view of others should hold no influence on your decision, especially when those people comprise of less than 0.09% of your fans...don't sweat it.
Good job as usual Terrence, I must confess it almost felt like I was in a church listening to an uplifting sermon. Can't wait to grab your book.
Uhhhmmm... this whole thing sounds familiar, yet mysterious and secretive at the same time. ;)
But, I also felt like I just heard a sermon, and I'm not even religious. At any rate, yours was better. :)
Looking forward to see the book (and whatever else you come up with). You're going places!
Until then KAKUREMBO... :)
I already have both print and audio versions of Napoleon Hill's classic "Think and Grow Rich" and it is a very inspiring and well recommended book. I also have his other popular work, the title of which escapes me, which I haven't gotten to yet. It is in quite a stack of books I have am still trying to get to.
Thanks for all the responses everyone. I am glad these words resonated with someone.
The words of those who say it can't be done fade in the light of those who have done it.
I've really enjoyed the last couple of posts, Terrence. The past several years of posts, truth be told. I just finished my own first animation last month. Just 90 seconds long. It was for a contest, and we had to leave in some storyboard stills in places in order to meet the contest deadline, but I started and finished a project and I'm determined that it's only the first of many to come.
I think the bottom line is that it's happening. People aren't just talking and dreaming about making their own animated films, they're actually out there doing it, more and more all the time.
T, you are the only blog I have read consistently for something like 5 years now? This post of yours is a perfect example of why. Your honest self reflection is just as educational and inspirational as your technical info.
Although we readers could say that your ups and downs make you no different from any of us; that the struggles with staying motivated, creative, and focused are common to many artists; that self reflection is a necessary component to self improvement; or, even more basely, that the world is full of good advice (both technical and emotional), it would be ignoring a fundamental difference you have, which I see reflected in your blog. You have great bravery and courage.
You document your struggles and successes for us publicly, not to whine or to pontificate, but to illuminate a way around obstacles any of us might face. By exposing your triumphs and tribulations you at once offer us a point of reference to our own lives and simultaneously show us how we too can find a way to something even more satisfying.
I hope you maintain this great attitude and continue to share with us. You have never given up and I hope you never do, because I know that the best is yet to come from you. I am really looking forward to it.
Continued thanks for always inspiring and educating me, and keep on truckin' :)
- Alex
Terrance, it is so uncanny how my own struggles somehow mirror your own. Each time I find myself at a low point, I visit your site for the exact words that I need to hear at that time. This was no exception. I am currently working on my first film that I had written and storyboarded over 6 months ago. I had decided 3 weeks ago to just start and finish it. So far I have 6 complete minutes and during the next week I should have 10 to 12 minutes done. I basically animate about 8 to 10 hours a day for the past 10 days. I keep telling myself " I will be an independent animator" everyday. I just finished up for the day and was at the midway point, thinking " I need to just keep going, I will complete it"; but also feeling that its still a big hill. And then I come to your site for words of encouragement and there they were. Thank you. It may seem like words on a screen to some, but there are those of us out here that see ourselves in what you do and transfer your courage and doggedness to ourselves. Good luck with your projects and Keep at it.
Yup you are inspiring a new group of filmmakers. LIke a said we should bannerize our efforts, you and Strange being the founders or something like that. :)
Oh then we'd probably become some evil hollywood company.
Great words to read, thanks for sharing as always, your insight and proof that folks can make a good looking movie all by themselves without studio backing.
Viva la revolución!
Hey Terrence -
Whenever you second guess yourself, just remember, that you didn't choose to be an artist.
After all, it's a hard life, with dispointment, occaisional poverty, and the never ending feeling that you could be doing something with your life that is more stable and safer.
But just remember, you didn't choose to be an artist - it chose you. So just go with it, and everything will eventually be OK.
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