You've probably heard it said many times that you should never make a movie with your own money. Another popular phrase here in Hollywood is that you never make a movie unless your distribution is already in place. When you're dealing with the kind of money that it often takes to make a Hollywood film, it makes sense to a certain degree. The reality, however, is that most of the people who spout these statements don't really want to
make films. They want to
sell films. They want the potentially large sums of money associated with
selling films.
You see, I've always wanted to make films. I've always wanted to create images and tell stories. When I was a kid, I was constantly filling spiral notebooks with my own comics. I had no thought of selling these things or going into any kind of business. I just wanted to
make them. I graduated to using my father's super 8 film camera (wow! I shot actual film!)to make stop motion films with my toys. I just wanted to make the stuff, and I was more than happy if anyone wanted to watch it.
When the Amiga computer came around, I saw clearly a future in transferring my abilities into the digital realm. Even before the existence of Wacom tablets, 3D CGI and non linear editing, I knew that if I could get my images on there, the possibility of making my anime was within reach. Once I got that process down, even learning to draw with the mouse, I just made what I wanted to make, or more importantly, what I wanted to see. It was fun and I was found doing it all the time.
There is a big difference between wanting to make movies and wanting to sell them. People who really want to make movies
just make them. I finally get what Robert Rodriguez meant when he says the moment you decide you are a filmmaker,
you are. The majority of people, however, only want to sell films. They would not make a movie for fun or for practice or for their learning. They would not even begin the process without a guaranteed sale, and usually a big one, at the end.

There was a day when I only wanted to make films. I made them because the
making was fun and then I could show them to everyone. In that day I took no thought as to how they might make money, or how and where I would sell them. That never entered into the picture.
Understanding Chaos was such a project. I enjoyed every minute of making it and then I put it out on the net for free. Many subsequent projects, however, began on the note of how or where they could sell or if they could sell. I began to become concerned about things that used to not matter. Basically, it took the fun right out of it. You see, if you were making a movie purely for fun
right now, with no thought as to what happens after the making, it would probably be a very different movie than if you were making it hoping to get a deal, or hoping to sell to a big studio, wouldn't it?
Now before people get up in arms, I am not saying you should never consider your audience, how to sell your film or that a desire to sell your film is bad. On a personal level, though, too much emphasis on that really ruined it for
me. It became too much about the perfect length, or what genre is currently hot, or if I am safe doing certain types of characters. It became
work.
Luckily the technology kept bringing greater and power to the user. With it came more creative freedom. I have an entirely new outlook on things now. As I continue to learn Vue 6, Poser 7, modo and the Mac, and explore the vast digital content world, I am getting back into creating like the old days,
just doing it. Whatever happens, happens. Right now I am just making cool stills and I am enjoying it immensely. Eventually I may start testing out some animation, then one day add a little
Garage Band with the new keyboard I got. The most important thing, though, is I am having
fun. This time, I intend for it to stay that way.